| its been forever |
[31 Jul 2008|01:25am] |
|
im not sure why i am compelled to journal right now. but i am. a lot. the past two nights have revealed a lot to me about why im in such a weird situation as far as this whole who am i bullshit goes. i know who i am when i am away from this place. however i miss who im not when im in vermont. i really want some sort of happy medium but that is so far from reachable. i know this and have come to accept my fate. last night i was sitting in a room full of coked out girls, a fresh from detox boy, and a couple of other miscellaneous weirdos. i bought weed from one and when i told them i didnt want to smoke or drink that night i was urged into packing a bowl and smoking retards up. breaks need be given here. after the multiple complaints of a single seed being in the bowl i decided to peace. creeepers. i know the only person who will read this is lauren and i like that. but damn its weird being home. love you lauren
|
|
|
[12 Nov 2007|05:06pm] |
|
im coming down on the 21st but i wont be there til late that night. because instead of taking a 48372045789 dollar flight im hitchhiking a ride from the bofo and then meeting up with the pops. its a 6 hour drive to tyler's sister's house in north jersey and then 2 hours from there to get to the hometown. were leaving at like 430 or 500 so that means if my dad comes to get me on the night of the 21st then ill be home at like 1 or 2 in the morning.. so ill prob be there for thanksgiving. but if not whatever, im hanging out with bitches and i cant wait to see you all. love you hos.
|
|
|
[22 Oct 2007|10:41pm] |
|
i had a wonderful time being home. wonderful indeed. i think that today will be one of those days that ill remember my entire life. i almost died a lot. or well was seriously injured a lot. on my way home from philly this morning i was crossing a street and this guy in a pickup truck turned in my direction and just kept going, he was looking right at me and i was looking right at him, yet he acted like i didnt even exist. i called him a douche and he yelled "im sorry" in a real asshole-like tone as if i was the bitch for walking.. so then i got a little closer to the speedline station (south and 8th i believe) and i saw this man dressed really nicely and thought about how much of a crackhead i looked with my dirtiness and nasty hair. and he starts to cross the street in his full suit and tie and little mobster hat. and someone does the exact same thing to him. i had my headphones on so i didnt exactly hear what had happened so i took out one of my earbuds. then i noticed how he kind of had a bit of a swagger in his step so i thought oh maybe hes just some old drunk guy yelling at cars.. but then he turned around and started talking about kids and the way they have no respect. (i know it sounds like every miserable old man: "damn kids") but it was true and i had never actually thought about how disrespectful people are. we walked and talked about people and family and jobs and all sorts of things togther until he got to where he was going which happened to be the hospital. there i told him it was nice to meet him and that he had made my day and offered a handshake and he gave me a big hug. i love old people. and i love philly. and i love home. ill see you in a month, but if you cant wait youre super welcome n my house. whenever you like.<3
|
|
|
[04 Oct 2007|08:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy but not good crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
metric |
] |
( i cried today. )
ill be home in 13 days i love you friends!
|
|
| here i am; i am the one |
[02 Oct 2007|12:59am] |
man living is a crazy thing.
how come compliments make me uncomfortable, is that normal?? i love being called "prettyface" but why is it such an akward thing man o man o man boys
new glasses. 8)
|
|
|
[01 Oct 2007|12:29am] |
|
hayy lj! i missss you. um i just redad fhl34756237854603872 posts and its late and i have to wake up in 6 hours. crap. goodnight i miss everyone alot
|
|
|
[03 Jun 2007|06:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
makin cake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
peter bjorn n john |
] |
its june. schools almost ovah. friday night i spilled grape soda on my med info for vycc. crap. theyre gonna hate me now i was so sad. the envelope was friggen purple.
|
|
| crap |
[25 May 2007|04:26pm] |
|
im in a stupid mood. proms gay. not going. i wanna get drizzle. but if i do ill be sad. bad news. gahhhhh im going camping tomorro with the pops. that should be nice and time consuming. cool. 40 ish days til peace time
|
|
| eeek |
[18 May 2007|07:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
i got the sweetest job in the worlld for this summer. it took about 24 hours for my application to be accepted and i am about to pee all over myself. yay to the max.
http://www.vycc.org/about/programs_wilderness.html
check one two. im gettin paid $325 every week to play in the dirt and build bridges and plant trees and filter my own water. i cant wash clothes or say bad words but i dont care im so excited!!!!
|
|
| stupid |
[16 May 2007|10:35pm] |
as i get closer to moving i keep realizing more and more that all of my chances of survival in south jersey are withering away, with friends and keeping up with my family. im such a lamo
i keep having dreams about bullshit like sitting in a chair watching everyone go on with their lives and im not doing anything about it because i cant. all i can do is sit back with no expression letting people mock me and go on with their lives
crap. im sorry everyone. who is only one person
i know you read this dad. and i just want to apoligize for just going about this change without really consulting with you first. i wish i had more time to stay with you and talk about all this. even more so i want to apoligize for all the shit that youll have to deal with by yourself when im gone. listening to mom and erin talk about moms happiness being dependant on medication tonight made me want to just jump on erin and strangle her to death. i hate to leave you stranded but ill always be here to talk.
|
|
| today |
[19 Feb 2007|02:48am] |
was absolutely positively wonderful . i have quite the battle wound. maybe ill show you if youre lucky. kevin might have some too. not really sure however because he doesnt complain nearly as much as i do. but uh yeah sleepy haha's and highways are a pretty bad mix, trains too. they suck. im so fucking tired i dont even know what im talking about.
anyway.. it took us 3 hours to make a trip that should have taken 1 hour and 49 minutes because im a douch and didnt print out directions to get home. we ended up in some shady shit. thanks for not killing us, black people of camden.
kevin and i are failed the mapquest test but we are still alive.
ok, sleeeep.
|
|
|
[07 Jan 2007|04:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
( '07 firsts )
it is too late for new years posts i apoligize
|
|
|
[01 Jan 2007|12:17pm] |
cell phone bullshit =over and solved. i could care less who stole but i am glad it was given back.
so yeah happy new year everyone this was the best one ever. im happy i was home and and even happier kevin waqs here
ps i smoked with my daddddd!
and it is also his bdayyy
|
|
| i keep waitin for a change but i dont know what |
[04 Nov 2006|12:37am] |
|
i need something new wether it be a new friend a new place a new lifestyle. im so bored with myself its almost depressing. but i dont like depressing so it isnt really. i dont really go out anymore. or do anything, i want something new anything at all
its kind of scary that i need a change so badly. will i always be like this? im never goingt o be happy with myself im sure of that.. but will i really need to move away or find new people every year or so? i wouldnt want to do that to myself. like this whole senior year crap. i would love to go to that highshool in St. J for my senior year. its amazing. its like fucking hogwartz!! but do i actually want to keep separating myself from people
im annoying
|
|
|
[29 Oct 2006|01:23am] |
blahh
i wasnt phased becuase i didnt like you i liked her.. i dont even really know you
sam hicks: well im sorry for being a creep
so much for trying
|
|
|
[24 Oct 2006|08:31pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
sneakuh pimpssz six underground |
] |
i have so far skipped 2 captains practices. i hope noone cares because if they do ill shoot them something is clawing at my uterus from the inside and i donot know what it is so deal bitches.
on a different note. my life is pretty much going really fast. i dont know if ill be here senior year or not... i cant decide if thats a good or bad thing just yet. it could be alright. 23dollahs per credit v. staying in new jersey one more year. hmmm
|
|
|
[20 Oct 2006|11:31pm] |
sneezze. psaats in the moorning and then sweeeet azzzzz nb battle.
happy birthday kevin peachpie
|
|
|
[14 Oct 2006|01:12pm] |
|
whats this bullshit about nobody wanting to harvest fest with me. i hate weekends anymore.
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
imsamiandimhot's journal